Ilang beses na akong inalayan ng kanta ng aking pinakamamahal… pero hindi pa sa tanang pagsasama namin na ipinapaalay ny’a sa’kin yung kantang nagustuhan n’ya… bagay daw yun kantahin ko sa GITARA.

Sabi ko naman… hintayin mong kunin natin ang gitara kay kuya… At para atang nabaliktad ang mundo… ako pa manghaharana sa mokong na yun… ano?

Ganito kasi ang kanta ni Rico Blanco…

“Iniwan ka na ng eroplano… okay lang baby wag kang magbago… dito ka lang humimbing… sa aking piling… ANTUKIN…”

Dyan nagsisimula ang kanta… Ang maganda pa nun… habang kinakanta mo s’ya… may mapapansin ka pang maganda ginawa ni Rico Blanco. Bilib na naman ako… ang ganda ng mga sinulat n’ya…

“Kukupkupin na lang kita… sori wala ka ng magagawa… mahalin mo na lang ako… ng sobra sobra para patas naman tayo… diba?”…

Dito ko pinaniwalaan si Anthony na para nga sa kanya ang kantang to. Ang ganda… akmang akma…

Sa mga huling bahagi ng kanta… parang bumalik lahat ng sinabi ni Rico Blanco… napunta sa’kin ang lyrics… na parang si Anthony na naman ang kakanta kasi hindi naman pwede na para sa kanya ‘to..

“Pinaiyak ka ng mang-huhula… hindi na raw tayo… magkasamang tatanda… buti na lang… merong langit na nagtatanggol sa pag-ibig na pursigido’t mat’yaga…”

O ano? Bilib na kayo. Maganda. Ako alam ko magaling akong kumuha ng kanta… pero ang boyfriend ko ang taga salo nga mga hindi ko agad nakukuha… NAKS! Ganun lang naman parati… ang hindi ko gusto… gusto nya… nang sa ganun… pwede naming pag-usapan kung bakit namin nagustuhan ang iba’t ibang bagay…

Sa mga magsing-irog d’yan… isang bagay lang dapat ang iisipin n’yo… “KUNG AYAW MAY DAHILAN… KUNG GUSTO PALAGING MERONG PARAAN…”

Kaya kung may hindi kayo pagkakaunawaan… pag-usapan n’yo yan… Bale… gumawa kayo ng paraan… Wala namang hindi napapag-usapan…

Isa man sa amin ang marunong maggitara… okay lang… gagawa na lang diskarte… Ako maggigitara.. s’ya kakanta… Ang swerte naman ng hung-hang na yun…

Ganun talaga… minsan kailangan magpasensya… minsan kelangan magbigay… Kaya para sa mga ANTUKIN dyan… maswerte kayo’t may nagtatyaga… HAHAHA! kunyari nagtat’yaga pero totoo talaga…

Tama na… pagnabasa ‘to ni Anthony… lagot na naman ako…

This post is for those WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEENS… that didn’t work… that you think won’t work… that you think is in the process of self-destruction. Or you did not reap what you have sown.

20. You just couldn’t help texting him/her even if the situation doesn’t call for it. If there’s a necessity, it’s understandable… but with nothing else but this drive to want to know where she/he is and what she/he is doing? YOU IN THE RUNNING for this category.

19. If she/he replies… your heart feels this excitement… euphoria… adrenaline rush… and all the things you call it… One explains that you’re happy. The other says you’re terrified.

18. When she doesn’t… YOU ARE NOT DETERRED. A sensible person will stop at one text… A very persistent one just can’t help but giving the girl or the guy the benefit of the doubt that maybe the girl or the guy is busy… blah blah blah… WAKE UP. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this out.

17. You are interested in everything that she/he has to say. May it be gruesome or just plain pathetic… your mind tells you to be open-minded… telling you that it’s a way of getting to know someone… the fact that you are getting interested in those things that hasn’t been visited/considered/evaluated by your mind… you are exerting effort to be mindful of what she/he is interested in.

16. You are easily hurt by what she/he says. This instance can be unintentional to the one you’re into but to you… hell… it’s downright hurtful.. but remember… there is that “benefit of the doubt” again that you practice to yourself just for her/him… You always find a reason to all that she/he says.

15. You want to talk about her. Hell, if there’s a person that knows her/him well… you’re really itching to squeeze something out of that person.

14. You have visited all the social/dating sites that he or she is a member of. This is true nowadays… You want to know where she/he had been… You would even click on your friendster to “VIEW ANONYMOUSLY” so that you profile won’t appear as one of the guys who has viewed her/his profile.

13. Of course you want to see her/him everyday. You won’t even mind the rule that it’s super not done in the dating world… Meeting everyday is like wanting to let things be NORMAL. You should meet once in a while… ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER kumbaga. But for you… this rule is non-existent. to hell with rules… YOU WANNA SEE HER/HIM, end of the story.

12. And when you see her… YOU usually forget what you want to say… if you do… you’ll mess things up and you become clumsy… if you’re not clumsy enough… you make an a*s of yourself…

11. You want to have this MOMENT with this person. A precise moment that you would hold on to while you’re into her. This could be a fleeting smile from her/him… or a “kumustahan” conversation that does not have meaning but you’re too INTO HER/HIM to realize that it’s a normal conversation…

10. You want her/him to share something that you both deem important. You are willing to go half-way in telling her things about yourself… but he/she may not be inclined to do this… with this situation… you take offense. You shouldn’t… but you would.

9. You think about her/him… you just think…

8. You want to know what makes her/him tick… what makes her/him smile… what makes her/him laugh… you just want to know… and then you figure out ways to do just the WHAT so that you could make an impression… sheeeeeeetttttt.

7. You have this renewed hope everyday that it’s going to be alright… that finally she or he will notice you… this would never stop… unless MATAUHAN KA.

6. Have I mentioned the KILIG factor? Oh yeah… I did… see no. 19. Read it again.

5. Of course you want to give her/him things. Giving her/him things doesn’t say that you could provide for her… or that you’re thoughtful… you just want her/him to have something the she/he will remember you of. A teddybear easily solves this “motive”… huggable… you start imagining that she/he will be hugging the teddy… and you’ll wish you’re that teddy. Hahaha.

4. You want to annoy him/her. This is somewhat true to some… what is the other way to get him/her to notice you? Of course you want to annoy her… bY doing that… she or he will probably feel a strong emotion towards you… that is ANGER. Doesn’t matter now does it? It is, in fact, still an emotion… GOOD OR BAD PUBLICITY sabi nga is STILL PUBLICITY.

3. You have this profound feeling to make her happy. Because just the thought of it lightens up your day… or complete the hollowed part you have in you… or stir up emotions that has long been hidden and ready to come out…

2. By hook or by crook… you mean to have her/him. (WARNING to those who can’t handle this… don’t do it! The pain… the trauma… isn’t worth it)

1. You’re not in-love YET. But the hurt you’re being into her/him is causing you to be frustrated… Think hard… think really hard… Because if you’re half-way to being in-love with him… As what my favorite hero Matthew Farrell says…

EITHER YOU PLAY AND RISK EVERYTHING or don’t play at all… IF YOU DON’T PLAY… YOU CAN’T WIN.

I just has a very exciting and fruitful day. But that remains to be seen…

Waking up 5 am and all you could think about is how to face another day… dreaming of things that are soon to be realized… makes you kinda cower to it all and wallow yourself in bed and forget about it.

That’s what challenges make me feel everytime… but I usually go the other way and face it all up… not bad for a girl who stood less than 5 feet with a brain like a sponge and has a very peremptory views on life.

My food’s getting cold. Blog updates on the go before this day ends.

Mahal kita… iyon lang ang alam ko ngayon… Mahal kita… dahil wala akong maisip na mas aakma sa nararamdaman ko ngayon… Mahal kita… Ito’y walang halong pag-aalinlangan…

Ilang taon na ba ang nagdaan at ang pagmamahal na ito ay nakaranas na ng madaming pasakit? Ilang siglo pa ba ang lilipas bago ito maibsan at ako’y makakahinga ng maluwag… Kung aabutin ako ng habang-buhay para maipadama sa’yo lahat…

Ang alam ko… Mula sa kasulok-sulokan ng aking kamalayan, ikaw ang namamayani… Maging sa kabuuan ng aking pagkatao iaalay ko sa’yo… At hanggang sa kaibuturan ng puso ika’y mamahaling lubos…

Ganyan kita kamahal… at kung iyong pahihintulutan… ika’y mamahalin pa ng higit sa alam kong kaya ko…

Pero… ano ang matitira sa’kin? 

Pinili mong suklian lahat ng iniaalay ko… lahat ng pinangako ko… lahat ng pinaghirapan ko…

Salamat… pinili mong isukli ulit ang LAHAT.

I don’t think there’s any need for introduction here… we all know who she is… without further ado… I would start from the very least…

20. I just love how she dresses… without showing much, she’s bound to attract more attention… everyone just wants a piece of her… lucky for Marwin, she’s devoted to him.

19. When you’re pretty and you’re from UP, you’re somewhat untouchable… like me… Haha. But this particular beauty just loves to flaunt that she does not know better and is willing to learn more… no wonder guys flock and offer.

18. If you’re singing a song… better get it right… Oh no… not this time with our Maju. She used to think that Mandy Moore’s Cry doesn’t make anysense… what with the lyrics, as she did adamantly insisted at that time, goes like this… “THE MOMENT I SAW YOU SMILE… “. Oh this is priceless.

17. The way she eats without pretenses and self-conciousness. She hikes up her legs and be done with it!

16. Her 3-RICE diet is so sinful I can’t even begin to think where the calories go… maybe on her b**bs? I remember she and Marwin used to count how many rice they have eaten… with this couple, rice is a commodity.

15. With her on my mind… I miss those days when we were carefree, young and hopeful. Now we’re anything but carefree I suppose.

14. I love how she laughs at herself when there’s a really good reason to laugh. I don’t believe she cares how you think of her… What matters is how her friends’ faces lit up at the mention of this vivacious and very lovable girl.

13. I have a little secret to tell… she really likes to be ravished… but the guys don’t seem to notice her… guys are such blind people. Hehe. Love you Maju.

12. Her usual chattering about trivial things, I prided myself to have sense, but this girl is made of unusual stuff. You talk about things you don’t even like… and yet you find yourself drawn to the conversation because if you stop listening… you’ll be lost… she talks that fast.

11. The way she cares for Marwin… how she does things for him… how she changed herself… her appearance… it’s disconcerting… but I have to agree. As much as I hate those t-shirts he made you wear… I know you realized something when you decided to go and change the way you look… You felt this profound sense of relief that he desires you in your t-shirt and all… not in fancy dresses…

10. We haven’t seen each other for months now and yet… I still have this feeling that she’s always there. Maybe her friends feel the same way as I do… I have a feeling that when we see each other… I’ll have to start practicing the APOLOGETIC look once again because the ride in the jeepney would be a long long while… and she just couldn’t stop talking… WE BOTH COULDN’T!

9. I was out of friends. I just dished-out my bestfriends with this guy, and I’m even sorry about that. And although I haven’t thought about it.. I was thankful at that time. Because I had nowhere to turn to and you girls (Mavic, Kaye, Madz, Mikay and Cardelle) took me under your wing.

8. Thank you for accepting me whole-heartedly. You made us, your friends, very much welcome and so at ease with you… I would speak on their behalf that they couldn’t even thank you enough. Friends like you are rare… I had found two and I lost them… You wouldn’t think I’d start losing you also?

7. You might want to know that her human excrement is unbelievably foul but hey… she thinks so too so that makes it easier to breathe now does it Maju?

6. Taking pictures from my Zire 72 was by far the most that you she has done when we were reviewing for board exam. They would use to hang a “malong” in the background and take turns in taking pictures. I think there was even a day that my Zire 72 was not used. You girls just love to glam it all up. I do too.

5. When you wanted my 20 things. I love you even more. I am but a girl whose frustrations in life are to sing, write and learn how to fly a plane. I can already sing… you made me feel like a writer in your own ways and that would left me just one more goal to accomplish… not bad.

4. The way you cry when things are thrown to you. You liveliness disappear for a while but wait a minute then it’s forgotten. You made forgiveness easy to bear… and easy to do… I wish I could do that…

3. When you think of your family and what you could do to help. You’ve had to endure a thousand miles and still… your zest and fervor in life never wavers. I am cynic, but as much as we are not alike… we belong.

2. You like to surround yourself with friends. You think that you’re needed that way. You’re wrong you know… as I have said earlier… it does not take miles… oceans and years to made you go away from our minds… you’re needed that way… THE MAJU we have known to possess a NARUTO-LIKE charisma… loud and lovable.

1. I just love a girl who wouldn’t mind handling her ex to her friend. I would see to the day when you would really hand me Marwin and I would just have to return him… he’s useless without you… you’re useless without him… I wouldn’t like useless people under my ward. =)

Here are the things I got from the books I have read…

Since the time I read “Solitaire Mystery” by Jostein Gaarder…I started collecting JOKER cards… and right now… I have about 200 of them ranging from Casino Filipino to even the cheapest cards found in ”bangketa”…

I have read Judith Mcnaught’s “Something Wonderful” and I instantly found a linking to Philosophy… England and its peerage.

The “Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff is my favorite… because I always want to see things in simpler perspective… and the simplicity of Pooh’s views in life is so gratifying I can’t even think if it has boundaries… it shouldn’t have…

“The Prince”by Machiavelli changed my perspective in many things… I am able to understand my boyfriend in his treatment with his nephews… I envy him… because I never had the love and fear of my nephew and nieces… I only had the love… not the fear… perhaps I’m not a fearsome person… hahaha!

I love justice depicted in the book “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexander Dumas, I would like to have that justice in eveything else… (very naive of me). My friend Vanessa Manalang is so die-hard of this book I was inspired to read it. I love the book somuch more than the movie… because in the book… the hardship… the pain… and the sweetness of justice… was plain… no embellishment… and no Jim Caviesel to distract you… =)

I’d like to thank my Raymundo Girls family in making me a somewhat “wants to read” person… I did not know what books could do ’till then… and now… after a decade… I am still searching for many great reads… wonderful stories and a whole a lot of lessons in each and everyone of these books…

Thank you.

Hi froggy… how’s life… I read your letter again… that ones we exchanged when we were in college… I never thought that a boy and girl could have that friendship… I miss your friendship somehow…

I hadn’t thought about you for a long time… but when I do… Memories came pouring in… I can’t stop it… you being a gentleman to all of us when we were in HS… even you approval of my one and only… Anthony thinks highly of you… maybe because I’m blabbering again about you…

I maybe the Dual Core girl… and you maybe the Pentium 4 girl… I don’t think it has any bearing… we are still the best of friends… You still have my loyalty… not Mady’s… not Anthony’s….

Time will come that you will surpass my expertise… my knowledge… my love for books… and my passion for all things… let it come then… hehehe…

Miss ko kaw lalo na wala kaw sa opis… love ko kaw… at si Kuya Mike… ingatz. Pagaling ka.

Thank you. Everytime I watch the movie “City of Angels”… I know a part of me would always be drawn to you… it doesn’t matter what I want now… but it matters what you want… and that is her…

You know who you are… the girl who sleeps with butterflies… I miss you… Dennis misses you… I believe we all miss you… lalo na ako.

Because… you are the only one… with except to Yna… that I know I could talk to… and I know that when we talk about things… It makes sense…

So to you… please don’t stop sleeping with butterflies… God knows the world is in need of girls like us… ready to take on the cynics… ready to gamble our happiness and ready to fight for the friendship that we have…